I’ve been asked by a couple of friends to help them fight their way past a phase of apathy in their recovery programs recently. You know, that “stuck” feeling, where you’re just not willing to do much, and everyone is saying “You gotta have willingness!”
Scout wrote “Where does one get some if one doesn't have any? I hear about people praying for the willingness to be willing. To be honest, that seems so contrived and ridiculous to me that I am not willing to try it. So what then? I pray for the willingness to have the willingness to pray for willingness? I mean, really, where does all of that stuff stop?”
I’ll start my post with the old joke about apathy:
Sponsee: What’s worse for your program, Ignorance or Apathy?
Sponsor: I don’t know and I don’t care.
The point is we’ve all been apathetic; and there’s a lot we don’t know. The best we can do is share our experience, strength and hope; and of course, look in the Big Book.
Here is what I believe. Willingness is not something we wake up with, anymore than we suddenly wake up sober and in recovery one day. This is an action program. Therein is the irony. You need to take action to be willing, and you need to be willing to take action. So what do we do? Yes, dear Scout, I’m afraid we do pray that ridiculous sounding request. We pray for the willingness to be willing. But let’s break it down. What are we really praying for?
Willingness comes when something or someone enters our consciousness, or our awareness, that makes us want to take action. For instance, you see a hungry or abused child and you want to get into action to help. A smoker watches a loved one dying of emphezema and becomes willing to give up cigarettes. We see or hear a story that touches us in a way that we are willing to change our perception or our actions. So….what we are praying for is that our Higher Power will put something or someone into our path (our awareness) that will spur us into action.
Our part in this prayer is the “footwork”. We must place ourselves out on the firing line of life; going to meetings, out in the community, working with others. Just suit up and show up, even if you are feeling apathetic and feel you have nothing to say or offer. On pg 102 of the Big Book it says :
Scout wrote “Where does one get some if one doesn't have any? I hear about people praying for the willingness to be willing. To be honest, that seems so contrived and ridiculous to me that I am not willing to try it. So what then? I pray for the willingness to have the willingness to pray for willingness? I mean, really, where does all of that stuff stop?”
I’ll start my post with the old joke about apathy:
Sponsee: What’s worse for your program, Ignorance or Apathy?
Sponsor: I don’t know and I don’t care.
The point is we’ve all been apathetic; and there’s a lot we don’t know. The best we can do is share our experience, strength and hope; and of course, look in the Big Book.
Here is what I believe. Willingness is not something we wake up with, anymore than we suddenly wake up sober and in recovery one day. This is an action program. Therein is the irony. You need to take action to be willing, and you need to be willing to take action. So what do we do? Yes, dear Scout, I’m afraid we do pray that ridiculous sounding request. We pray for the willingness to be willing. But let’s break it down. What are we really praying for?
Willingness comes when something or someone enters our consciousness, or our awareness, that makes us want to take action. For instance, you see a hungry or abused child and you want to get into action to help. A smoker watches a loved one dying of emphezema and becomes willing to give up cigarettes. We see or hear a story that touches us in a way that we are willing to change our perception or our actions. So….what we are praying for is that our Higher Power will put something or someone into our path (our awareness) that will spur us into action.
Our part in this prayer is the “footwork”. We must place ourselves out on the firing line of life; going to meetings, out in the community, working with others. Just suit up and show up, even if you are feeling apathetic and feel you have nothing to say or offer. On pg 102 of the Big Book it says :
Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand. Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed.
Out there on the “firing line of life”. That is where we get spurred into action for our own recovery. We go to a recovery home or detox to be of service and we get as much or more than we give. We get willingness.
I guarantee you will not feel apathy when you are walking among those who still suffer from this disease. Christ walked among down trodden people to carry a message of hope. When Siddhartha left his palace and saw the suffering of his subjects he realized enlightenment and became Buddha. This is a spiritual program. When we bring the Sunlight of the Spirit into our consciousness, whatever our beliefs may be, willingness follows.
Out there on the “firing line of life”. That is where we get spurred into action for our own recovery. We go to a recovery home or detox to be of service and we get as much or more than we give. We get willingness.
I guarantee you will not feel apathy when you are walking among those who still suffer from this disease. Christ walked among down trodden people to carry a message of hope. When Siddhartha left his palace and saw the suffering of his subjects he realized enlightenment and became Buddha. This is a spiritual program. When we bring the Sunlight of the Spirit into our consciousness, whatever our beliefs may be, willingness follows.
