Tuesday, March 31, 2009

GRACE LAND


I have these moments in life that I think of as “peak moments” – small experiences that may be insignificant and brief, but they touch my heart so profoundly that I know I will carry them with me always. I treasure my “peak moments”. They’re very personal, hard to explain, and I rarely speak about them. They are those “you had to have been there deals” that just don’t translate into words. I play them back like little movies sometimes, when I need comfort or renewed hope, or just to remind myself of how rich life can be sometimes.

I had a “peak moment” last week. My daughter was down from Seattle for seven days. She’s lived up north for three years now and we still suffer from separation anxiety. We talk daily and live this kind of calendar limbo thing where we count the months between trips. I think when we are finally together emotions run high. We’re happy, we’re sad, we share stuff, and we talk talk talk. If you’ve read any of my previous posts about her http://megmoran.blogspot.com/2007/01/pandoras-box.html or http://megmoran.blogspot.com/2007/03/uncle-randy.html then you know that she has had some challenges to face. She has had even more, but I wouldn’t write about her “stuff”. When she arrived this time she was dragging with her a bruised ego and broken heart, one of the worst I’ve ever seen. I wanted to hug her pain away. She’s also at a point in her life where she has some real important choices to make about her future. But oh, that pain………funny how when our hearts are broken we question and second guess everything – all of our choices.

So, back to that peak moment. We were on our way out to dinner, driving down the freeway. It’s late, its dark and the colored lights of businesses are flying by. My car is small and we’re sitting side by side, she’s not saying much. I punch on the radio and Paul Simon comes on singing Graceland. I reached over and took her hand, we listened to the lyrics and we drove on. That’s it. That’s my peak moment. See? I told you they don’t translate into words.

The song is about a guy whose wife has left him and he is broken hearted, so he is going to Graceland. His traveling companions are “ghosts and empty sockets”. He sings about a girl in New York City who calls herself the human trampoline. And I know my daughter feels exactly like that girl. But then he says when she’s falling, flying tumbling in turmoil she’s bouncing into Graceland. Graceland? I don’t think he’s talking about a place in Memphis. He’s talking about when you bottom out Grace saves the day. Finally he says there’s some part of me wants to see Graceland. And I may be obliged to defend every love, every ending or maybe there’s no obligations now. Maybe I’ve a reason to believe we all will be received In Graceland.

I thought about God’s Grace. How grace is always there for me and will always be there for her. I think Graceland is everywhere. I know I felt it last week on the 91 freeway.