I've been working for a year now in a residential treatment center for female alcoholics and addicts. The facility is a six month program for pregnant women or mothers with young children. It's one of the only places around here that a pregnant woman or mother can get treatment and bring her children with her. Many are jail releases; most are on probation or parole. All of them are addicted, lack parenting or any kind of social skills and arrive with a criminal record and a story. Their stories include trauma and despair, broken lives, broken families, broken hearts. The reunification with their children can be chaotic. They trust no one.
When I first started working here I was so naive. While I was studying for my degree in Addictions I imagined making a difference in lives. I based my imaginings on my years of twelve step meetings and sponsorship. I thought I'd go to work, bond with the clients, introduce the steps and save lives.
Reality in a treatment center like this is quite different. The twelve steps and bonding will be important to each client at some point, but the first order of business is to teach them not to put a fork in each other's eye in the dining room. The mothers need substance abuse treatment and counseling. The children need to be loved, nurtured and healed. The cycle of abuse stops here. It takes a village to heal these children.
I have learned so much in the last year I feel like a different person. I am living the concepts of "sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly" and "first things first". I am learning there are many effective approachs for treating addiction and each person has pain and trauma that needs to be considered as part of the treatment. I understand that my ego thought I could make a difference. That will never happen. Only God can make a difference in people's lives and my job is to show up and do God's work.
Some make it out of here clean and sober and go on to transistional housing with happier healthier children in tow. Some get violated, sent back to jail and their babies go into a foster care system that can be brutal. There are days I leave and think I can never go back; but there are days I get to hold a newborn brought into this world by a clean and sober mom who has new hope.
When I first started working here I was so naive. While I was studying for my degree in Addictions I imagined making a difference in lives. I based my imaginings on my years of twelve step meetings and sponsorship. I thought I'd go to work, bond with the clients, introduce the steps and save lives.
Reality in a treatment center like this is quite different. The twelve steps and bonding will be important to each client at some point, but the first order of business is to teach them not to put a fork in each other's eye in the dining room. The mothers need substance abuse treatment and counseling. The children need to be loved, nurtured and healed. The cycle of abuse stops here. It takes a village to heal these children.
I have learned so much in the last year I feel like a different person. I am living the concepts of "sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly" and "first things first". I am learning there are many effective approachs for treating addiction and each person has pain and trauma that needs to be considered as part of the treatment. I understand that my ego thought I could make a difference. That will never happen. Only God can make a difference in people's lives and my job is to show up and do God's work.
Some make it out of here clean and sober and go on to transistional housing with happier healthier children in tow. Some get violated, sent back to jail and their babies go into a foster care system that can be brutal. There are days I leave and think I can never go back; but there are days I get to hold a newborn brought into this world by a clean and sober mom who has new hope.
She down on the corner, just a little crime.
When I make my money, got to get my dime.
She down with her baby, wind is full of trash.
She bold as a streetlight, dark and sweet as hash.
Way down in the hollow, leavin' so soon.
Oh, St. Teresa, higher than the moon.
Show me, my Teresa, feel it rise in me.
Every stone a story, like a rosary.
Joan Osborne St. Teresa
