My sweet friend is living the first part of A Vision For You. She's trying to find her way to the Jumping off Place. I looked up the definition of "Jumping off Place". It can mean either "a remote spot"...or a "spot where you begin a journey or new venture". I'm afraid she is in a remote spot.
She has known the conviviality, companionship and release from care, boredom and worry. But now she is down to the seeking out sordid places...... yearning to capture something that is just not there. I pray she will not be hurt. Our elevator does not have to go all the way to the bottom before we get off.
I love how A Vision For You Ends...how we all can trudge the road to a happy destiny. This is my prayer for her. Well, that is my prayer for all of us.
jumping-off place definition
n.
1. A beginning point for a journey or venture.
2. A very remote spot.
FOR MOST normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt-and one more failure.
The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did-then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen-Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!
He will presently try the old game again, for he isn’t happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end. From A Vision For You pg 151 BB
n.
1. A beginning point for a journey or venture.
2. A very remote spot.
FOR MOST normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt-and one more failure.
The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did-then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen-Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!
He will presently try the old game again, for he isn’t happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end. From A Vision For You pg 151 BB
13 comments:
ooo sorry to hear about your friend, but I know that ALL over the world tonight there are circles of people holding hands saying "after a moment of silence for the alcoholic/addict that is still suffering....."
If she's out there....she's suffering, so all those "silent moments" will be for her.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. That quote from the BB gives me chills. It's good to read when I get complacent in my sobriety. Thanks
yes, drinking is conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. but for some, like me, that is just the teaser to get you in and hooked. after that it turns and makes your life unbearable. fun is only fun if you WANT to, not when you HAVE to, and that is where my drinking is different....
My thoughts and prayers are with her...
Kind of what everyone else has said.
That passage chilled me to the bone - that's pretty much how it [once] was for me.
I love the pic too. I know an alley in Soho (london) just like that.
Great post, hon.
Have a groovy day.
x
It hurts to watch our friends disintegrate... but sometimes they do get out from under.
I don't like "normal" people.
oxox
JJ
I was on a first name basis with the four horseman...I'll pray for your friend. I've been to places like the pic. That indeed, is a jumping off point...
I visited ALL of those sordid places. Again and again.
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
I need to revisit what it was really like the last days of my drinking and using. Thanks to you, I just did.
I'm so sorry about your friend, been there. I will remember her in my moments of silence, as well as others, pray that she makes it back.
I didn't realize the meanings were what they are for a remote spot, interesting.
I thought about your friend when we did the moment on Thrusday.
Prayers for your friend. And for all who suffer, no matter the cause. This life is for living, and we have found it. Thank God.
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